Unexplained Infertility, You Are Not A Statistic
I think it is crazy to emphasize someone's age in regards to determining fertility as opposed to analyzing that person's stress level, lifestyle and psycho/emotional state. The concept that chronological time is the most important factor in gaging fertility, is the result of reductionism and science trying to quantify data and statistical outcomes into reasons why pregnancy sometimes just doesn't take place. Doctors often speak in statistics at fertility clinics because it is the only science they can use to explain why pregnancy is not occurring. Let me please share with you, YOU ARE NOT A STATISTIC!
Science cannot understand the mysteries of the womb, conception and birth, in the exact way that science cannot truly understand the beginnings of universe. This can be puzzling and painful to experience when all that you have to comfort and explain your infertility is science. Percentages and statistics often are what science can offer as comfort. I've worked with people passing through IVF clinics who have perfect ovarian stimulation, fertilization and ovum growth and yet, regardless of all laboratory test outcomes, pregnancy does not occur. One patient who experienced 3 rounds of failed IVF, explained to me that she was just "the 5% that can't get pregnant in her age group." There was no explanation given, no other treatment offerings except more IVF, more exploratory procedures, more genetic testing, etc. I worked with this same person and helped her re-route this negative categorization into a positive connection with her sexuality and reproductive health. Behind her "5% diagnosis," which could not be cured by strong medicine and science, was a deep psychological block against becoming a mother. Beyond this deep block, was a history of childhood abuse that had never been exposed and behind the exposed abuse, there was a disconnect between her heart and uterus. Through all the years of fertility treatment, she never believed that she could become pregnant and had only fixated on the fact that her reproductive capacity was broken because of the shame that she carried. This psychological block still qualified her to be a part of the "5% statistic diagnosis", but by no means was her fertility story complete upon diagnosis.
I am dumbstruck everyday at how poorly woman are treated on earth. The deep knowing and connection between fertility and reproduction and the health of the planet is felt very strongly by some. Often this connection is placed in its own type of "5% unexplained statistic," perhaps due to the painful and hard to face truths of what is happening on earth. The exploration of the unexplainable, when not suppressed by trauma, fear or systems of control, can lead the individual and planet to a true healing, one that does not take "no answer" as a truth or diagnosis.