The Phrase “Dont Stress” Is So Loaded

The phrase “dont stress” is so loaded.  Its variation, the command “relax” is equally complex.  Ive worked with so many people over the years traumatized by their inability to perform “not stressed” and “relaxed.”  Its actually a mixture of arrogance and laziness or perhaps ignorance, which empowers people in relation to others, to believe that words alone are sufficient to lead someone out of a distressed state into another safe space.  My experience is that the more sensitive the nervous system and endocrine system, the harder it is for that system to downshift.  For many it is better to say nothing or to at least ensure that there is authentic compassion behind the words.  Sometimes even acknowledging the energy silently as opposed to codifying with language proves to be the most powerful.  Sometimes, Ill just sit with someone who is extremely stressed. Say nothing but hold space. For many it is a reminder of a deep maternal nurturing that is not demanding, just present and supportive. 

Self CareJulie Von